12 mai 2016

Sometimes I'm ok

And sometimes I'm so sad I can barely breathe. Sometimes I look at my life and I'm in shock: how could this be ? You went to the seaside with her this weekend. I keep talking with people who went to the seaside this weekend too, and while they're telling me about their weekends my mind drifts to what you were doing with her. Holding her hand, making love to her, being happy with her, walking on the beach with her. Doing all the things we used to do together. All the things I wish you still wanted to do with me. But now you don't want... [Lire la suite]
Posté par Charismas à 14:20 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]

03 mai 2016

On and on and on

I was supposed to be on sick leave for two weeks, the doctors said.  But I'm self-employed, and stupidly proud, so I turned down alimony when we got divorced.  Which means that if I don't work, I don't have any money.  So I just took 2 days off, and tried to do shorter days for some time.  I'm so tired.  Because of my illness, and probably because of the pregnancy.  And all the self-doubt and worry and harassment.  How can I have this baby?  How can I afford to have this baby?  I barely... [Lire la suite]
Posté par Charismas à 22:14 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]